My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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