I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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