A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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