Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
