She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
