I just pynch a tree in the face
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
