So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize