Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
