Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
