you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
