I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
