im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
