Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
