watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Randomize
