Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
