I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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