Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
