Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
