would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
