I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
