Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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