i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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