we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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