weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
