I didn't shave. On purpose
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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