On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
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today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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