I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
