If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
