Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
