I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
