Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
