My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize