How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
