isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
