Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I had to cum in my sink.
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