carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
