Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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