WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
