I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
