I'd wear matching sweaters with you
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
