You can't motorboat a personality
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
