Your tits are I can't wait for
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
