That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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