just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
