whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Say something about gay babies.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
