You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
