I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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