before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
