Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize