Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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