I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
