I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
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The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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