Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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