So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
