before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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