we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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