chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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