Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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