The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
