My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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