If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
