Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
