Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
