I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
