i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
