i think my tv is drunk
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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