Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.

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(631): View more from New York

so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.

(631): View more from New York

what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK

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(520): View more from Arizona

Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets

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(530): View more from California

Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts

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(862): View more from New Jersey

That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light

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(210): View more from Texas

How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt

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(315): View more from New York

you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck

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