K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
