...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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