i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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