You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
